Just to let you all know, I am away for the week training so internet access and actual free time will be extremely limited. I will try to answer questions when I’m free but I can’t make any promises.
Please keep asking questions though as I will respond when I’m back!
I was told by my team it’s Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. It’s still a personality disorder, but the ‘borderline’ is very stigmatised so it’s been changed to help lessen the stigma.
I know what you mean, it’s difficult it being a personality disorder because that suggests you’re wrong or other things. It doesn’t though.
I see it as unlike depression - where it is something solid and easily characterised, a personality disorder weaves around your life, your emotions, your friendships and it is complicated and intwined.
At the end of the day, I was always told that the basics of bpd is simply that our emotions are haywire and more intense than usual, which I find comforting, because even though it’s a personality disorder, it’s simply my emotions.
But they’re my thoughts,
Do any of our followers have anything they’d like to add?
Don’t hear from friend for a while
Automatically think they hate me and never want to talk to me again.
Part of the reason they don’t recommend diagnosing younger is because personality is technically still developing, and often most teenagers can actually fit the criteria for bpd. However most people will grow out of certain criteria and no longer fit the diagnosis, though some people are an exception. So there is hope that you may not actually have it :)
However here are some tools/self help for bpd/self harm/emotional unstability.
marsha lienhan’s DBT covers these modules:-
- distress tolerance
- interpersonal effectiveness
- emotional regulation
If you search Wikipedia for dialectical behavioural therapy and select the heading ‘modules’ it gives a great explanation/description. And then searching things linked with those on Google should bring good links up.
Hope this helps,
I would let her know that if there is anything she needs or is struggling with that you’ll be there for her, all she has to do is say.
Be gentle, relax and don’t make her feel suffocated. However pick up on slight cues, maybe she does something when she’s upset? I go to my room. Bring her a cup of tea and just see if she’s ok and wants to talk. If not just let her know you’re around if she needs you and leave her be for a while. Maybe check on her in an hour and see again.
If she feels interrogated or like you’re watching her, she’s likely to hide anything and everything and keep it to herself.
Be gentle, calm, relaxed and trust your mothering instincts, you will know her ‘tells’. If you don’t know them, just observe her gently and see what she does in certain moods.
The fact you’re asking us is a good sign, you’re obviously open enough to ask for help to support your daughter, and really support and acceptance is a big part of what people with bpd need.
Hope this helps,
Were you soon to turn 18?
Sometimes they diagnose you just as you’re approaching your 18th birthday.
You could always ask if it’s definitely the full diagnosis or whether they have put traits down. If you ask why they think that diagnosis and if it would change as you get older.
I’d ask, there’s no harm in finding out!
Personally I don’t think ‘bitch’ is appropriate for anyone to call someone, unless you are actually referring to a female dog.
And the problem being that bpd has a high amount of women being diagnosed compared to men, so the characteristics are easily described as ‘bitchy’ by people, when in actual fact people are going through real struggles, and the internal struggles actually going on aren’t describable.
So I’m quite happy to correct somebody, because this blog is a safe place for people with bpd to lighten serious issues we struggle with and actually feel less alone whilst bashing stigma.
Also, if people do want to ‘make fun’ in a nasty way then don’t come on this blog, and if the ask from the anon was genuine, I hope they’re reconsidering their attitude.
The fact you’re saying she’s being a bitch, she should probably dump you.
You could’ve worded it ‘I’m struggling with my girlfriends behaviour because she’s acting like a,b and c.’
Bpd is difficult to live with, we have ups and downs and we struggle. Relationships aren’t easy with us, and don’t always work which is fine. If you’re going to break up with her, don’t use the reason that she’s ‘being a bitch,’ use a decent reason.
Just because we are difficult to deal with doesn’t mean you have to use derogatory words to describe us. All that does is add to the stigma of bpd.
Hello lovely people.
Massive apology for lack of posted submissions. I’ve unfortunately been sectioned again so am currently unable to make them but Naomi is still here to help you out and there’s a running queue of old submissions etc.
Aplogies. Hopefully i will be back soon and when i am i will get them all posted.
Best wishes everyone xxxxx