Submission by tobiaslab


Submission by theimaginaryaudience 

Just to let you all know, I am away for the week training so internet access and actual free time will be extremely limited. I will try to answer questions when I’m free but I can’t make any promises.

Please keep asking questions though as I will respond when I’m back!

Naomi x

Anonymous said: I've heard people talking about how the latest classification of BPD is "Emotional Disregulation Disorder" (or something like that), I'm just curious if that means it's not considered a personality disorder any more? Personally I would like that because I struggle with defining myself outside of something that is considered a part of my personality. I know there's no clear answer but I was curious about your thoughts.

I was told by my team it’s Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. It’s still a personality disorder, but the ‘borderline’ is very stigmatised so it’s been changed to help lessen the stigma.

I know what you mean, it’s difficult it being a personality disorder because that suggests you’re wrong or other things. It doesn’t though.

I see it as unlike depression - where it is something solid and easily characterised, a personality disorder weaves around your life, your emotions, your friendships and it is complicated and intwined.

At the end of the day, I was always told that the basics of bpd is simply that our emotions are haywire and more intense than usual, which I find comforting, because even though it’s a personality disorder, it’s simply my emotions.

But they’re my thoughts,
Do any of our followers have anything they’d like to add?

Take care,
Naomi xx


Submission by vicyoucanpiercemyveil 

Don’t hear from friend for a while

Automatically think they hate me and never want to talk to me again.


Submission by becauseiam6795
Anonymous said: Hi, I'm 100% sure i have bpd and i fit all the criteria completely. It isn't something i would ever take lightly or lie about and this isnt a passing thing. I am a teenager now but the way i feel and the way i am has been this way all my life as long as i can remember. it's shit that this wasnt discovered more when i was younger. Do you have any advice for self-help things or ways i can get dbt/cbt despite being too young for a diagnosis? Thank you<3

Part of the reason they don’t recommend diagnosing younger is because personality is technically still developing, and often most teenagers can actually fit the criteria for bpd. However most people will grow out of certain criteria and no longer fit the diagnosis, though some people are an exception. So there is hope that you may not actually have it :)

However here are some tools/self help for bpd/self harm/emotional unstability.

marsha lienhan’s DBT covers these modules:-
- minfulness
- distress tolerance
- interpersonal effectiveness
- emotional regulation

If you search Wikipedia for dialectical behavioural therapy and select the heading ‘modules’ it gives a great explanation/description. And then searching things linked with those on Google should bring good links up.

Hope this helps,
Naomi xx

Anonymous said: Hi. I have a daughter a beautiful daughter who has made me a very proud woman and who is going through a rough period in her life, maybe was my fault, maybe I did something wrong I don't know. The thing is I can't reach out to her when I try she just pushed me away. I know I have to back off sometimes, that I can't be a mother to her every time just because that is not what she needs or wants. I love her so much and she make me proud just the way she is, but I'm still a Mum! How can get to her?

I would let her know that if there is anything she needs or is struggling with that you’ll be there for her, all she has to do is say.

Be gentle, relax and don’t make her feel suffocated. However pick up on slight cues, maybe she does something when she’s upset? I go to my room. Bring her a cup of tea and just see if she’s ok and wants to talk. If not just let her know you’re around if she needs you and leave her be for a while. Maybe check on her in an hour and see again.

If she feels interrogated or like you’re watching her, she’s likely to hide anything and everything and keep it to herself.

Be gentle, calm, relaxed and trust your mothering instincts, you will know her ‘tells’. If you don’t know them, just observe her gently and see what she does in certain moods.

The fact you’re asking us is a good sign, you’re obviously open enough to ask for help to support your daughter, and really support and acceptance is a big part of what people with bpd need.

Hope this helps,
Naomi xx


Submission by Anonymous
Anonymous said: Hi there, I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 17, however I know that I can't technically be diagnosed until I am over 18 (which I am now). Should I accept the diagnosis that was given when I was under 18 or go back and have a second opinion now that I'm over 18?

Were you soon to turn 18?
Sometimes they diagnose you just as you’re approaching your 18th birthday.
You could always ask if it’s definitely the full diagnosis or whether they have put traits down. If you ask why they think that diagnosis and if it would change as you get older.

I’d ask, there’s no harm in finding out!

Take care,
Naomi xx


Submission by the-arcanine
Anonymous said: Can I apologize on behalf of the person who submitted the post about breaking up with their girlfriend? The best excuse I can even think of for why they would want to say something like this is if they were trying to be funny, and even then it's not even close to that. This person is obviously aware of BPD, take some time to educate yourself and work on what you can do. That submission was no way ANYONE in ANY relationship should be treated or seen as.

Personally I don’t think ‘bitch’ is appropriate for anyone to call someone, unless you are actually referring to a female dog.

And the problem being that bpd has a high amount of women being diagnosed compared to men, so the characteristics are easily described as ‘bitchy’ by people, when in actual fact people are going through real struggles, and the internal struggles actually going on aren’t describable.

So I’m quite happy to correct somebody, because this blog is a safe place for people with bpd to lighten serious issues we struggle with and actually feel less alone whilst bashing stigma.

Also, if people do want to ‘make fun’ in a nasty way then don’t come on this blog, and if the ask from the anon was genuine, I hope they’re reconsidering their attitude.

Take care,
Naomi xx

Anonymous said: my girlfriend has bpd and she's being a bitch again. should i dump her?

The fact you’re saying she’s being a bitch, she should probably dump you.

You could’ve worded it ‘I’m struggling with my girlfriends behaviour because she’s acting like a,b and c.’

Bpd is difficult to live with, we have ups and downs and we struggle. Relationships aren’t easy with us, and don’t always work which is fine. If you’re going to break up with her, don’t use the reason that she’s ‘being a bitch,’ use a decent reason.

Just because we are difficult to deal with doesn’t mean you have to use derogatory words to describe us. All that does is add to the stigma of bpd.

Hello lovely people.
Massive apology for lack of posted submissions. I’ve unfortunately been sectioned again so am currently unable to make them but Naomi is still here to help you out and there’s a running queue of old submissions etc.
Aplogies. Hopefully i will be back soon and when i am i will get them all posted.
Best wishes everyone xxxxx